I've been posting to this spot for almost 4 months now. I invested time, effort and the little writing ability I imagined I have. And like every investor (this vaguely includes almost everybody, who in some way or another, got their persona and the verb 'invest' in the same sentence or thought), you expect returns on your investments. Sadly, the returns are less than favorable. I got nothing but curses, discouragements (opposite of encouragements) and even death threats. Whenever I meet my blog-reading friends in the plane of reality they usually say: you sick bastard! You call that blog of yours an example of writing ability? Jeez, check your online pronunciation. Don't forget to cross your teas and dot your eyes. And if don't come up with another one this week, we'll kill you! Better come up with a funny one then.
A typical geek, which I am, would most likely cower in fear and contemplate immediate suicide. Anger of such intensity must not be ignored, it's a good thing that I just made up almost everything on the first paragraph so that it's perfectly safe for me to dish out nonsense still.
Hmmm... I actually don't have the slightest idea on why I write here. I just realized this is pointless since I don't know any reason to write. so i'll just stop writing then.
What?!? You're still reading this? I'm flattered. Really. Being the geeky loser that I am, while you were scrolling down the page with that intense sadness on your face (my gosh! my favorite writer just decided to stop writing!), I took your picture using your monitor through an advanced softare that analyzes the reflections on the screen (usually your face). The analysis is done by computing the density of shadow that fell on each of the monitor's individual pixels resulting to a byte-size data that will be encrypted using the just recently broken SHA-1 algorithm. The final result is your picture which will be uploaded to your profile I phished and then upload it to the database of this blog's fans. I hope I garbled it enough to be believable.
I write because somebody reads it and finds it ...uhm... intriguing. And so what if anyone finds it 'intriguing?' I remember starting this blog days after I've been singled. Hmm... maybe at that time I was thinking that writing online might increase the chances of me enamoring someone (preferably female) through the witty things and outrageous but funny things I chronicle here, while hiding the fact of my obnoxious nature and unappealing persona. Hmmm... well, four months have passed and still I'm single and still intent on writing some more, there must be a better reason then.
According to what I read somewhere, man is motivated by only three basic things and it's not love, honor and kindness. It's just sex, money and power.
Well obviously, I'm not writing for sex (though I would want to). Hey, I just posted up my gargoyle of face on the upper right side of the page. I could sense the temperature go cold as interest levels go down upon glancing on my poor excuse of a visage. Though I did a bit of poor image editing by adding facial hair for machismo-effect and stud earrings for a delusional aura of coolness. But hey, who am I kidding?
Am i writing for power? I'm actually losing power whenever I write here. Electric power that is. So an X for power.
Money, now that's a reason. Let me tell you a secret, but you have to promise not to tell anybody else. Do you promise not to tell anybody else? Shake your head thrice if you can't keep a secret, keep still and smirk if you can.Remember that I can see you through your montior.
I could potentially be earning money through the google advertisements that appear on this page. The advertisements that appear on this page are supposedly related to the things written here. So if i write about love, the ads that show should be related to love, the likes of discounted motel bookings, effective love potions, effective contraceptives, viagra, etc.
So what if the ads are related to the site's content? Well, advertisers are hoping that their ads are targeting the right market. And what does this got to do with me? Well, if readers of mine click the ads here, I get $0.03 multiplied with the current exchange rate of P54.60, equals to PHP1.63. Wow! I get P1.63 for every ad click I get! Assuming I get a million readers everyday who clicks on the ads of their choice multiplied by P1.63, that would be 1.63M everyday!
Oh wait, for the span of 4 months of blogging, i only got 30+ readers and all of them are cheapskates and did not visit any of my sponsors. Hmm.. do you know any other interested readers/clickers?
