mt pico de loro (aug06)

mt apo (apr05)

day 3

ronald's food column #1 - beta

According to what I've read somewhere, professional bloggers or at least serious bloggers identified as people who blogs regularly, blog in hopes of getting an offer to write a column for a published media. Writing for a publication may be enticing, but according to TFA (the f*cking article), blogging are for opinionated people. People who needs to share their thoughts to other people. While this may sound like a typical definition for a person with attention-deficit disorder, KSP in the local dialect, I have no idea why I mentioned this thought...

BUT!!, even though I'm no serious blogger (I'm more of a non-serious one), if ever I'll be snatched from the blogosphere to write in a weekly column for a magazine, I would like to write about my newly acquired self proclaimed imagined cooking skills which was necessitated by poverty. In short, in order to save money, I've been cooking my meals for sometime now.

A bit of background: I've been living away from home (home being Davao) for almost a year now. This means that my Yaya and/or Mom has not been cooking for me for that long, sad but true...

So here is my first easy-to-prepare, geared-towards-the-lazy-person, relatively affordable recipe for this 'column.'

Tantatanan!!

Ronald's version of a Tuna Spread. (Bows).

Ingredients:

1 Can (optional) Cheapest Tuna Flakes in Brine/Oil you can find ~P14
1 380ml (optional) Flavored Mayonnaise in Foil (a.k.a. mayo-based sandwich spread) ~P35
1 480g (optional) Wheat Bread Fortified with Fiber ~P50

Notes:
Every ingredient is optional - What I'm trying to say here is that you have an option of not making this tuna spread. (You have been warned.)

Bread with Fiber. Let's fight the battle against constipation!

Instructions:

1.) Drain oil/brine into bowl. (Keep this as I might change my mind and have to let you know that this _might_ still be useful)
2.) Put tuna flakes in the container you want your tuna spread to be in.
3.) Get Fork.
4.) Locate container that contains tuna flakes devoid of oil.
5.) Using the fork you hold on your right hand, lightly mash tuna flakes so that they would be exactly how you want them to be, lightly mashed and separated.
6.) Afterwards, let go of fork. Be sure to put it in an easily accessible location. (hint: beside the bowl of tuna flakes)
7.) Carefully add the sandwich spread. I usually add just enough to cover every strand of tuna flake with precisely 0.0011mm of mayo. I do not want a very soggy tuna spread. You may have a different preference.
8.) Grab the fork you let go of on #6. Mix.
9.) Buy Soda. (Important!)
10.) Spread the spread on Bread. (Hey, that ryhmes!)
11.) ???
12.) Enjoy while occasionally sipping your soda.

There you go. Enjoy the ridiculously easy to prepare Ronald's version of tuna spread.

Instruction #11 was intentionally left out as this is the most imporant step to get to #12:Enjoying your newly created spread. Non-enjoyment of you tuna spread is due to your not following the 11th instruction.